Afternoon Commute

I’m thinking about adding an hour to my commute.

Ok, that sounds a little intense, I guess if I subtract, from the hour that my new commute would take, the current time I spend walking to the bus stop and on the bus, I’m really only adding about 20-30min depending on what bus I take.

See, what happened is that I was at work this afternoon/evening, it was between the typical end of the day (5:30) and about 6:15 or so, I missed my bus, got an email that upset me a little bit, and long story short, was NOT interested in standing at the bus stop for 20m waiting for the bus.

So I started walking.

I felt kind of depressed, I felt like talking about it but I didn’t know who to call. It made me think about a blog post I read the other day titled “Riches to Rags” and I was thinking about posting a response. I wanted to write about stuff like, finding jobs to make friends yet how those work friends sometimes are purely seasonal, and/or how crazy it feels to walk by so many people on the sidewalk in a day (I walked more than 6 today!)…with only a few who make eye contact. I wanted to expand on how lonely it can be in a room full of people, and about efforts I’ve made in my past to try to make friends that are comical to look back on… in part because they didn’t work. I think all experiences are valuable though.

Baby Magnolia Tree

Breaks my heart to see how confined this tree is.

I walked by a magnolia tree. I have walked by MANY of these, and yes they are beautiful, but the ones that I saw were so contained. Surrounded by and planted within the concrete that we walk on known as “sidewalk”. I admired the huge magnolias I saw in some yards, and I cried for those baby trees that I don’t think will last for more than a few years, and if they do it will be because they fought for it.

That “because they fought for it” part cheered me up. It got me thinking about trauma…and how beautiful it is. Realizing that some, if not most, of my best and most long lasting friendships were either created from, during, or even sometimes because of trauma. I thought of when I suddenly couldn’t walk back in 1999, and it is easy to remember who was there for me. Equally who wasn’t, and those lessons make intentions and where effort should be spent crystal clear.

I even started to miss NYC a little bit, I’m not sure if it was because I was craving human interaction that is inevitable on the streets of NYC, or if it was simply because I miss my friends.

When I talked to that nice guy, probably about 10-20 years my senior with the skateboard, it was fun, but I felt kind of bad when he fell and his skateboard went down the hill I was imagining riding a bike down. He said it is good that my son (at 2) is interested in and getting started with skateboards.

I didn't expect to see this on my way home from work.

I didn’t expect to see this on my way home from work.

Soon after that, of all things, walking within the Seattle city limits I found what looked like a swamp. I stopped walking so I could take it in, and took a picture with my phone. It was so beautiful, yet so, odd at the same time. Right by a mall, and apartments, and with a little blue condom right between the “nature” and the street. I laughed as I imagined the interaction that led to that little treasure, was it teens in a car? Trying to walk to the park (aka swamp)? I didn’t know, but I bet it was an interesting experience.

I thought about when I couldn’t walk right, but never stopped, and I laughed. I celebrated my ability to walk and I am sensing a new routine. Maybe even a reason to start getting up earlier.

I started thinking about what feeds my soul, and who I really am. I remembered when I wanted to have and imagined myself with dreadlocks…and imagined cutting half my hair off, dreading it, and then going with a crazy short cut when I was done with that phase. I thought about spending days, multiple days just walking around and paying attention to the world around me, just so I could reflect on it. Maybe taking pictures like I did when I was in college, it was before I knew about blogs and I used to update my site daily with new pictures I took during the day.

I realized walking without words was a kind of meditation.

Every person I saw with a dog I felt connected to…because they made eye contact and then I told them how beautiful their dog is. I was glad they went for a walk at the same time I was out.

Thank you for reading, this is kind of a summary touching on some of my deepest thoughts…maybe I’ll link out and expand sometime.

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