Kristin Bennett

I was thinking about writing about masturbation but it took seeing a tweet from Kiyosaki about the number one market (still) being porn online to actually go ahead and do it.

I was not raised christian, or with any religion in particular but I believe it was infused in some way because after reading an article this morning about female masturbation and how taboo it is to put it lightly.

A friend of mine has ‘outed’ some of her sexual escapades with her book “Single Mom Seeking
” which is a great book that I can relate to in a lot of ways reflecting back on my single mom days of dating.

Back to the point though, I was thinking about writing about masturbating because I don’t think enough people do! I once signed up to be a consultant for a well known MLM that sells adult toys and props such as swings and lingerie but when it came down to it, aside from random leads who I didn’t know, I was too shy to ask any of my friends to host a party so I could sell some of the toys.

Fortunately at about the same time I signed up for that company I also signed up for Arbonne which is much more in line with what I promote and believe in which is well summed up by their “Pure, Safe, and Beneficial” tagline. I am very much in the process of detoxing my life and this has been a big part of it. All my personal care products such as shampoo, lotion, soap, sunscreen and even premixed shakes and fizzy tabs are all Arbonne, and I love to use and share them.

I’m not writing about that though, back to masturbation. I don’t know if it is the same for everyone but I know that for me I have at times been a bit jealous about the ease that men seem to be able to reach orgasm. It took me years of being sexually active to achieve this and while the first one I had was orally induced by my partner at the time…it never happened again that way. Sure all that my various partners since then tried felt very nice, but it didn’t quite do it for me.

So when I discovered vibrators, which happened in my teens but didn’t find the ones that for me could ‘do the job’ until I was in my twenties. I do not remember the exact age I was, but I remember it was a really good thing, and that I liked it very much.

Dildos never really did it for me, I found that they did help when being used in conjunction with a vibrator but alone they didn’t do much for me, not as much as the real thing though. If anything they made me laugh, because yes, I think penises look funny, and fake ones even funnier.

So, I was kind of disheartened in the ‘toy party’ industry for this reason too, I had such conflict!! See, my favorite toy is one that is really a “All-Body Massager
“that I bought off of Amazon at some point. It’s actually kind of a funny story about how I found it too.

Prior to finding my “PIB” (plug-in boyfriend) I was using lowly battery operated ones…and they tended to die at the worst possible moment that I found extremely frustrating. So one day, when I was with someone years ago, I noticed that when he used his clippers it made SUCH a loud noise! Later I had a thought that went something like this, “If it is that loud, then it must have a really powerful vibration too…” and that led to be ‘trying’ it, and with my hand I felt the power…and beyond that, I actually wrapped it up (yes, the clippers at this point) and it was great!! So I searched online and when I saw that the same brand had a vibrator and it wasn’t just for trimming hair, I bought it immediately and have owned one (at times two) since then.

So on that note…I’m going to sign off and walk out in this lovely sunny day we’re having. I believe everyone deserves to have a regular orgasm whether they have a partner or not and whether they want their partner involved or not if they do have one, it is up to us each individually to meet our needs in this area!!

For me and my multiple sclerosis a diet change is how my gardening life started. I have always considered gardening a luxury that if I had the time and money to waste I might have the opportunity to experiment with. I found out one day at my second visit to my new naturopath that I was not only deficient in just about every nutrient my body needs but that it was likely because I’m allergic to so many different kinds of food. Up until this point I prided myself on maintaining a healthy diet, lots of whole grains, vegetables, fish and that sort of thing. Up until this point I’d been very close to following the SWANK diet which is known as a very strict but for many people effective diet to calm multiple sclerosis. I learned I am allergic to dairy, almost all grains (including oats and rice!), eggs, nuts, and beans. After learning this my mind was further twisted when I learned I really had to increase my sodium and cholesterol levels because I was deficient in sodium and had not enough cholesterol to heal the myelin being damaged when I had MS flare-ups.

So how to eat?? At the time I didn’t have much money, and I’d recently had and was nursing my new baby and so I was hungry a lot, I was a part of the WIC program which was a joke because all I was eating from there was completely against my diet, as it consists of milk, cheese, beans, and cereal for the most part. Our house was under construction and we were living in my apartment when I realized that even though we weren’t living there I could use the yard to grow some vegetables in!

Over the last 9 months I have had 2 of my worst MS flares ever. I have struggled with anxiety, depression, and coming to terms with the fact that parts of my body may or may not be working the next day. When an early spring sprung here in Seattle where I live I was elated and went out into the garden and planted some seeds, this is a few weeks ago and the joy felt when each little sprout comes up (especially the peas and amaranth!) is almost overwhelming. (continued)

Fortunately at this point, I can type. I am writing this article just over a month from when symptoms started appearing from what can be called a flare, exacerbation, attack, or even
just an episode of Multiple Sclerosis (MS). For a period of time I lost most feeling, control, and strength through a lot of my body. Most impacting for me in my life was experiencing this with my hands! I am often asked ‘what it feels like’ to have MS, and so this is the first in a series of articles covering the wide variety of symptoms that have recently come and gone through this most recent episode.

Currently I can type, which I consider my ‘coordination’ as well as ‘strength’. About two and a half weeks ago, this was not possible! I was barely able to communicate digitally, moving a mouse was near impossible and required the use of both of my hands! I think this is most clearly described (cont’d)

Intensity seems to bear little children that can just gnaw at us. For me, the loudest of these little rascals is on my right arm. From the middle of my forearm to the top third of my upper arm, the part of the arm that the sun can see if I’m wearing a tank top, I am feverish. That feeling, when one has a fever and the skin is very sensitive, painful even to touch is what I mean by feverish. It came about today, and I’m hoping it just stays where it is and fades away rather than spreading through any other part of my body.

Whenever this happens, I take an inventory of what might have caused it. Usually the first things that come up are the stressful elements in my life. Yesterday my 6mo baby got vaccinated. Debates about this topic run rampant, and up until about a week ago, I was not one of the people who supported vaccinations. Fears run rampant on both sides of this debate which does not help someone like me who is looking for a true journalistic overview of the pro’s and con’s. I believe this is because the research is lacking but I won’t go into all that now. I did decide to do it and another article I wrote earlier today details that so I will move on.

Over the past 3 weeks, I have been getting used to a new diet as well. My ND did a lot of tests on me, tests I had never had done before using hair and blood samples to test my nutrient levels, allergies, and other stuff related to that. I found out that I am very reactive to a variety of foods, most common of course are the gluten, eggs, dairy, soy, and a surprising number of nuts and grains. Point being, my diet has made a major transformation recently. Even more so when you add in some of the other variables, like how deficient I was in certain things like Lithium, Potassium, Sodium, and I was told that even my Cholesterol was too low even for my body to replace any myelin that my immune system might have taken a bite out of. So the closest mainstream diet to describe what I can eat is the Atkins, though I’m not eating beef, eggs or dairy. Point being, it is frustrating that despite all these good changes, my arm feels funny. Interesting too is that the nutrient deficiencies have symptoms (as seen in the links) that are virtually the same as any symptoms that I have experienced with MS.

Another new part of my life is this monthly infusion that I started last week, and will be getting monthly for at least another 6 months called IVIG. My experience getting started with that was a good one, almost scary, but someone figured out that some of the math was wrong before it became an issue.

Money is still a stress as well, applying to jobs is difficult when I am distracted with the number of doctors appointments and problems on my plate. I’m a few months behind on daycare, and while it is tempting to pull her out, at the same time I certainly won’t be more productive and say a job does come through, that would be a whole new challenge in itself. Not to mention my work involving my passion of building and growing the online MomsWithMS project I started a few months ago, it feels like my destiny and anything taking me away from that, my kids, and telling my story feels like an interruption. Fortunately my husband has had some good leads for jobs which is exciting for both of us. Though when the water heater broke (2 days ago) it was comical how close to being ‘out’ of money we were.

Painting is something that can benefit our situation a lot. I am a graduate of Parsons School of Design and even since before I attended that school, painting has been a way for me to express what I couldn’t communicate with words. I’m working on improving my written language but I am absolutely enjoying the painting. It is funny though, because I decided the other day that what I should do, is paint some paintings with my daughter involved somehow, and sell those on etsy. I have 2 that we have gotten started with, just little 12in x 12in squares with our hands outlined and some different colors of paint. I have not listed nor completed the paintings though because they are so directly coming from my heart that it hurts me to think about sending them to someone else. Though that is the reason we worked on the paintings together was purely to sell them, and she was supportive and actively participating with it, I have a hard time, because for me they are a part of our story, and they are so personal, so impactful to me.

I’ve been told that I’m lucky, and to a point I agree, in the way that I don’t really ever let any of this ‘really’ get me down. I am going to keep working on these paintings, maybe I’ll have to save the first two, and then make some new ones to sell. I have about 6 more mounted canvas to work with and lots of beautiful paint. I’m going to keep writing until my story comes out as well, which I’m just getting started with but I’m having a blast.

I have a secret too…even though I love my peanuts and honey wrapped in a whole wheat tortilla, (my favorite snack that it turns out I’m allergic to), I am loving my limited diet. Most days I’m only eating 2 meals a day, either because I am full for that long from eating Amaranth Meal and Bacon, or because I can’t find anything to eat and coffee keeps me going for a pretty long time by itself. I’m also lucky because my husband actually is enjoying the challenge of making a more limited selection delicious for all of us. Tonight we had some delicious salmon, rainbow chard, cauliflower with my favorite mushroom dressing on it, and some acorn squash that I put cinnamon and blue agave nector on. That would have been enough tonight, but it wasn’t this time, I was pacing through the kitchen wracking my brain to think of something sweet I could munch on. I was fantasizing about some dried dates or something similar to stave my sweet tooth.

Then…I remembered what I bought, for just this kind of a starving sweet tooth moment. See, there is a store here in Seattle (maybe elsewhere too, I don’t know), called PCC. I have been joking about how it went from my favorite, to my only place to shop for food since learning about my dietary limitations. Last time I was there, though I tried to focus on the staples, this little canister caught my eye…pure organic cocoa powder. So my husband and I dug until we found it, and then I followed the directions using my coconut milk, (almond, soy, and dairy are off limits, rice is limited as well), and then added some blue agave nector to it made the absolute best hot cocoa ever. Even better, as the milk was heating on the stove, I found a knife and cut an avacado in half, which I sprinkled salt on and ate before I was drinking any of the cocoa.

Salty satisfying avacado to prepare for the ultimate chocolate indulgence was amazing. Next time I’m going to add a little cayenne pepper though. I used to go get a good spicy mocha all the time at a local coffee shop here but my wallet has told me to not do that so much. Making it was such an ultimate indulgence that maybe some people feel when they cook as well, just knowing exactly what I was putting together, and knowing exactly what I would/could change if the flavor wasn’t quite right was divine.

It was the perfect nightcap.

So far so good! I found out just over a week ago that I am allergic to a LOT of things, namely wheat (plus many other grains), eggs, dairy, and much more. Also I found out I’m deficient in cholesterol, sodium, potassium, vitamin D, and lithium!!

So I’m feeling pretty good, I’ve been pretty intensely avoiding all the things I’m allergic to which means I’m eating mostly meat (pork and fish) and vegetables. I’m also taking new Vitamin D & Lithium supplements.

It is very difficult to eat out, especially at my favorite places, Mexican Food for example is very tough because I love chips with salsa and guacamole!! Last night I had Chicken Mole which was wonderful, but I did cheat and eat some of the corn tortillas/chips along with the beans and rice…I’ll let myself cheat occasionally so I can survive!!

Fish is the best thing for me to eat, I wish it was easier to buy fresh and keep it longer…I did start taking the fish oil supplements too.

I do think I’m feeling better, though it isn’t particularly dramatic, I have lost about 3 pounds so far too which is nice. This morning I had bacon for breakfast and made oatmeal for my husband and daughter (oatmeal is a no-no for me) I’m feeling just fine and someone explained to me that is because the foods I’m eating don’t have the sugars and so they stay with me much longer than sugar/breads.

This is going to be shorter than I would like, I have so much exciting news to share, but we need to be out of our apartment by tomorrow night and there’s still packing to do!!

This morning I had an appointment with my ND, last appointment, which was my first, was 1 month ago. It was my second appointment with her, the first involving an extensive interview and giving lots of blood for testing and taking a hair kit home to test my nutrient levels.

Today we found out the results!!

No, first how I feel…I’m stressed, anxious, and often distracted with a hard time remembering things. Often I feel depressed though I’m bad at communicating it normally and I do a good job acting like everything is ‘ok’ (don’t we all? lol.). Also I’ve had a headache for a few days, been seeing a physical therapist/massage therapist for pains related to weak muscles/relaxin od from being pregnant etc.

SO, the results…I’m malnourished. One of the tests, the hair, measures nutrients, and the ONLY 2 nutrients I was above the 50th percentile were zinc and one I’ve never heard of before. I’m dangerously low in sodium, potassium, and lithium. I also took an allergy test and JUST LIKE SHE SEES WITH OTHER MS patients I am allergic to wheat & dairy, plus a LOT more.

I have to get back to packing and there is soo much more to share…but I’m going to be changing my diet way more dramatically than I was initially so I’ll be blogging about it here as well as on my website which is http://www.KristinBennett.com if anyone is interested.

Quick list of other things I’ll be virtually eliminating are: soy, almonds, almost all beans, peanuts, eggs, barley, spelt, honey cane sugar, whey. These all were above a 4 on a 1-6 scale.

I’m wondering if I’ll be losing weight too…currently I’m about 175 and about 5ft 7in…

The only foods that were lower than a 2 on the scale for me on this test (meaning they are very safe) are: squash/zucchini, cauliflower, beet, amaranth flour, walnut, pecan, apple, banana, blueberry, peach, lemon, pineapple, plum, raspberry, strawberry, all fish, yeast, coffee (thank god) chocoa, pork, lamb, chicken.

Whew…we’ll see how this goes, looks like I’ll be shopping at PCC from now on!!! I’m also taking Lithium and Vitamin D supplements in addition to my vitamins (yes I take vitamins and came out this low!!). She said my cholesterol is so low too that my body can’t create more myelin, recommended I eat liver for a few days…

She explained that my body is using all the nutrients to fight the food I’m allergic to most likely and so unable to keep any nutrients. We will be retesting in December…so we will see how it goes!!!

Oh, also we’ll be in the new house day after tomorrow…I’ll be packing again now!

i went to the bus stop this morning, slightly later than usual and there was about 8 people huddled around the covered area. When I looked around more, I realized one man was lying down on the ground. There were two men/heros doing CPR and a third on the phone talking to police dispatch repeating what the men would say, “he’s heart beat us gone, okay its back, he’s not breathing though.”.

Talk about a humbling way to start election day!

It makes me think back to times when I felt hopeless for whatever reason, body not feeling quite right and then of course on to the hospital experience this man will have, assuming he survives. It is healthcare that I thought of next, wondering if he has insurance or if he’d be paying off these medical bills the rest of his life.

We need an administration that will help the people who need it, which of course also means we need to do our part not just for us, not just for our families but for our village, our neighbors, our fellow humans we are sharing this life and planet with.

It couldHave been me at that bus stop. I could have had a miscarriage, maybe its five months from now and I go into labor! Or have a heart attack, stroke, simply pass out? It could be any of us and we need to not only appreciate what we have but we need to think outside our little happy bubble and realize we could lose everything at any time. Many people out there already have, and like Hilary said, “it takes a village.”. I hope he is okay.

I already voted for Obama, did you vote yet?

-my blackberry rant from the bus for election day.