Kristin Bennett

I was thinking about writing about masturbation but it took seeing a tweet from Kiyosaki about the number one market (still) being porn online to actually go ahead and do it.

I was not raised christian, or with any religion in particular but I believe it was infused in some way because after reading an article this morning about female masturbation and how taboo it is to put it lightly.

A friend of mine has ‘outed’ some of her sexual escapades with her book “Single Mom Seeking
” which is a great book that I can relate to in a lot of ways reflecting back on my single mom days of dating.

Back to the point though, I was thinking about writing about masturbating because I don’t think enough people do! I once signed up to be a consultant for a well known MLM that sells adult toys and props such as swings and lingerie but when it came down to it, aside from random leads who I didn’t know, I was too shy to ask any of my friends to host a party so I could sell some of the toys.

Fortunately at about the same time I signed up for that company I also signed up for Arbonne which is much more in line with what I promote and believe in which is well summed up by their “Pure, Safe, and Beneficial” tagline. I am very much in the process of detoxing my life and this has been a big part of it. All my personal care products such as shampoo, lotion, soap, sunscreen and even premixed shakes and fizzy tabs are all Arbonne, and I love to use and share them.

I’m not writing about that though, back to masturbation. I don’t know if it is the same for everyone but I know that for me I have at times been a bit jealous about the ease that men seem to be able to reach orgasm. It took me years of being sexually active to achieve this and while the first one I had was orally induced by my partner at the time…it never happened again that way. Sure all that my various partners since then tried felt very nice, but it didn’t quite do it for me.

So when I discovered vibrators, which happened in my teens but didn’t find the ones that for me could ‘do the job’ until I was in my twenties. I do not remember the exact age I was, but I remember it was a really good thing, and that I liked it very much.

Dildos never really did it for me, I found that they did help when being used in conjunction with a vibrator but alone they didn’t do much for me, not as much as the real thing though. If anything they made me laugh, because yes, I think penises look funny, and fake ones even funnier.

So, I was kind of disheartened in the ‘toy party’ industry for this reason too, I had such conflict!! See, my favorite toy is one that is really a “All-Body Massager
“that I bought off of Amazon at some point. It’s actually kind of a funny story about how I found it too.

Prior to finding my “PIB” (plug-in boyfriend) I was using lowly battery operated ones…and they tended to die at the worst possible moment that I found extremely frustrating. So one day, when I was with someone years ago, I noticed that when he used his clippers it made SUCH a loud noise! Later I had a thought that went something like this, “If it is that loud, then it must have a really powerful vibration too…” and that led to be ‘trying’ it, and with my hand I felt the power…and beyond that, I actually wrapped it up (yes, the clippers at this point) and it was great!! So I searched online and when I saw that the same brand had a vibrator and it wasn’t just for trimming hair, I bought it immediately and have owned one (at times two) since then.

So on that note…I’m going to sign off and walk out in this lovely sunny day we’re having. I believe everyone deserves to have a regular orgasm whether they have a partner or not and whether they want their partner involved or not if they do have one, it is up to us each individually to meet our needs in this area!!

I was diagnosed with MS in 2001, two years after starting college in NYC and being diagnosed with a stroke. I’d just had heart surgery to close a PFO they thought caused my ‘stroke’ and so I had about a month of feeling almost like a ‘normal’ 20 year old girl until my left side got weak, and a month later being diagnosed with MS.

I graduated from Parsons School of Design on time in 2003 and had a baby in 2006, six months later I left an abusive relationship and after about 6 months of couch surfing, moved back to the west coast, landing in Seattle Washington.

I was very functional, a young single mom working hard at a software company and quickly being promoted through the company. I got married and pregnant in 2008. Once I was 8 months pregnant I was laid off in the third round of layoff’s the company I worked for in February 2009.

After having my baby at home, yes it was planned that way, I had one of the worst flares I have ever had. When I was online looking for resources for moms with multiple sclerosis I came up short. Being a problem solving designer/techie type, I realized that MomsWithMS.com/org was NOT registered, and I decided it was time for us to have a place to go. I registered both domains, .com is a private community for moms and the .org will soon be the main page and mostly a public resource about what we experience as Moms with MS.

As I am writing this, we have submitted our application to become a national team for the NMSS, we have over 345 members on the site in over 6 countries and over 35 states in the US. I am so happy to be a part of this wonderful group of women that is growing daily and so lucky that I discovered that domain was available.

Moms with MS is a community by and for moms diagnosed with multiple sclerosis to compare notes and support each other through the joys and sorrows of parenting and dealing with multiple sclerosis.

Katherine has made the move and registered this team for our local Seattle Walk MS team this year (Thank you Katherine!!) and it is so exciting! MomsWithMS.com was launched on July 1, 2009 and by 6 months later, January 1, 2010, we had more than 250 members already!! Our members span across over 35 states, and 6 countries!

I’m not pregnant this year and am looking forward to doing the walk with BOTH of my lovely daughters this year.

I have upped my goal to $1,000.00 dollars this year as well, and hopefully can help coordinate the starting of many similar teams across the country too!! I will post information updates here and also on MomsWithMS.com

I’m sitting here with my 5 month old baby girl in my lap. My almost 4 year old was dropped off at her Pre-K class just a few hours ago. My tears are dripping onto my sleeping baby’s belly as I type this.

Boring is a word that I don’t remember using since I was about 12, maybe 11. My dad used to gleefully tell me how I was acting ‘so eleven’ which is what I remember most about that year so I probably was bored then. Since then though, and now, my life has been chaotic.

In my mind, and out of my mouth, anyone who knows me is well aware of these patterns I’m sure. I constantly am spewing the desires I have for a ‘stable’ or ‘secure’ life with ‘routine’ and ‘predictability’ however I’ve never experienced any of this!! I tell myself that ‘as soon as I/we get through this, things will be normal‘ though it doesn’t happen, even I wonder if I really want it? I think I do, but if I look at all that I do, do I really want that?

Maybe I do want that, consciously but unconsciously I have ‘programs‘ (as my Klemmer trained husband calls them) that are against this, and insist on keeping the chaos rampant in my life. I haven’t been through that program, maybe I will someday and then I’ll understand, at this point I don’t though. I am too busy chaotically living my life of chaos trying to make it calm down enough to learn what this word ‘relax’ means, because right now I don’t know.

My biggest fear is that my daughters will only know me as this high strung multi-tasking fake “normal wanter” who can’t seem to figure out what the words normal or calm really mean. It’s clear that my family, dysfunctionally raised from an established military upbringing thinks I’m nuts, or have such unrealized potential.

For me the concept of normal is about as foreign as this flying spaghetti monster I hear about.

For me sending my children away so I can go repetitively do the same thing over and over and over again sounds like pure insanity, I don’t understand the appeal. I haven’t been able to get a job anyway though so it’s not like that is a real option.

What I really want, is for my life, to make sense. Just a little bit of sense. Right now everything is a mess, I feel like an interruption to the world around me. My daughters watch me feverishly accomplish nothing spending my time online, while I explain that I’m trying to make money to make things better though nothing happens to support this.

I agree enthusiastically when people tell me I should write about my experiences, my experiences being sent away as a child to survival camp, running away from boarding school, MS, 9/11, stroke, and the abusive relationship that created my beautiful little girl and that I left behind etc. etc. but have I written? I have written a little bit, here and there but enough for a book? No. Do I know how to get started? I know I need to write, but I don’t know what comes after that. Do I try to take care of myself even? Yes, though I don’t think I’m doing a very good job, I’m getting medical treatment to feel better but all of that is leading to piles of bills that just remind me I’m broke. Then I start working, or writing, and then my daughter cries, or wants to be picked up, to drink mommy milk, go outside, or eat some food.

And it feels like I’ve failed, either at the working and writing by attending to their needs, or at mothering by spending time writing or working.

Balance is another word I need to become more familiar with. Maybe after I meet, my balanced self, I will be able to introduce her to my little beautiful girls who deserve so much more in a mom. I know she is in here somewhere.

I have been taking a class through the Washington Business Center (used to be Women’s Business Center) it is called “Launch and Grow your ” and while it’s been interesting I have been flip flopping faster than any political candidate ever regarding ‘which’ business I want to focus/work on. In my mind I’m thinking about the book writing, community building, all the MLM’s I’m involved in, my volunteer roles and sooo much more, how can I focus on one?? Anyway, now that it is ending next week which is when I need to present a business plan, I have decided where I need to focus though in what regards I’m still not sure, though I know where I’m leaning. I think that what I have spent time on really shows my passions and what I’m most likely to thrive doing and that is working with Moms with MS.

I launched the community on July 1 this year after suffering my first bad flare-up since my diagnosis in 2001. I’ve watched it grow like crazy, we’re now over 90 members and it’s barely been 2 months and we are not yet listed in or supplied brochures at any NMSS locations or on their site aside from links on their facebook page. One member told me she found the site through google even which is fabulous, means we’re showing up in people’s searches when they are looking for what we provide.

At this point though we are ‘only’ a community. I have it being run through a (wonderful) ning platform which is great as a community but so much more is needed for this site!! I want to supply moms with information, help them promote what they are doing, feature people, have specialists contribute regarding cutting edge information that affects us MoMS and so forth. So as I told my husband a few minutes ago…I need to get started with a mindmap because for this topic my brain is exploding with ideas and even better, I’m getting loads of support and encouragement from anyone I talk to about this, whether they are affected/in the field or not.

Time to get started on that business plan…after the mindmap and find focus within this focus of course.