Exhaustion is a killer.
It’s been an exciting week in a lot of ways…I started my job as Visual Designer, and was loving that, and then of course getting engaged was a huge rush as well…but I am really tired.
On my birthday Kenzie got sick too, I actually left work early that day to pick her up and take her to the doctor, who fortunately said it just looks like a little cold. Fever lasted close to three days though, and after Tuesday night…it was like holding my adorable little girl 24/7, even at night, she was with me but just tossing and turning..and really hot.
I guess I forgot how trying it can be to be what so many moms are…staying at home full time with a child is not an easy thing to do. When I did this and she was an infant, her first year she was with me every day, (I was really lucky to have been able to make ends meet by selling things I inherited on ebay that first year), I remember how much of an effort I made to stay social…I took walks, I went to baby yoga classes, I went to a handful of places all the time so I knew people there and could say hi.
The last few days have been TOUGH in this regard because I don’t usually stay at home with her, and since she was sick there was only so much we could do. A lot of my ‘social’ life, or maybe I should call it ‘adult conversation’ happens at work, and of course with Geoff and friends after work. So it was tough to not be communicating much, or to have places to go to find people I knew. Finally on Thursday I did go to Barnes and Noble, where I held her for just over two hours while I read a wedding planning book or two. Imagine being excited to place an order for coffee…or ask for a book to talk to someone?
Irony being..there is SO much to talk about!! I have friends and family I can call, (of course)
, but when you are carrying a munch…and whatever else you are carrying…it’s hard to hold a phone too, not to mention that the people I know work full time and can’t just ‘hang out’ during the week understandably, I’m usually in the same boat.
I LOVED spending time with Kenzie, chasing pigeons, riding the scooter etc. What I missed was having conversations with grown-ups and people who…I enjoy talking to. So what I really was craving was less a need to be alone, than to grow my social network of friends outside of the working 9-5 crowd.
It was an interesting week, that is for sure.