It really caught me off guard yesterday, soon after dropping off Kenzie at school, I was sticking around a bit as I usually do when the fire alarm went off…
It totally wigged me out and I was fighting back tears, I was able to and focused on staying out of the way, doing a quick errand a teacher asked me to and then leaving the building but wow…as soon as I was away from the kids I absolutely burst into tears.
In my head I went straight back to the Fall of 2001, it was soon after 9/11 when I was in my third year at Parsons School of Design close to Union Square (now Parsons New School of Design) and there was a fire alarm, I remember being at a high floor, I think 8th or 9th, and then a fire alarm going off. We all had to exit the building via the staircase because obviously the elevators were shut off and the stark reality of what could happen, what did happen, and imagining how it felt to the people who died in the WTC that day trying to calmly leave the building absolutely left a lasting impression on me. I stayed pretty touchy and sensitive the rest of the day and the pain in my back intensified…I don’t remember if it started or just got worse after that, I think it just got worse though.
I don’t know if this is a PTSD level feeling I’m experiencing but I am feeling very upset about a lot of things, yesterday in particular seeing the repeal of affordable health care and to then see the republicans so fervently fighting the rights of women to have an abortion via taking away the rights to affordable health insurance when one has a ‘pre-existing’ pregnancy just completely wigged me out.
I am glad I do not own a TV.
I’m working hard to calm down today, I have a flight tomorrow to Tuscon of all places, I need to focus on getting ready for that.