I first noticed the term “Third Parent” when I got an email letting me know that the question I had posted on Quib.ly had gotten a response. I saw the term related to someones company (ThirdParent)That was not when I started crying. I did get curious at that point, and while he had a brief description of his company on his profile I decided to turn to Google and see what I could find about this. I’m interested in the ways that people keep kids safe and so yeah, I keep an eye on things like this since it involves parenting + technology which are two of my favorite topics.
I was surprised and even more curious when I saw what showed up when I searched for “thirdparent” because it was all about adoptions…it was talking about efforts to make it legal to have not just two, but three or even four parents. Most of the links looked related to IVF which I kind of understood as maybe they were talking about the birth parents and the adoptive parents all being “real” parents, however IVF doesn’t relate to me, I’m super fertile as are the two guys I have made babies with. But when I saw it I clicked on the link to this NYT article: Measure Opens Door to Three Parents, or Four it was published almost exactly a year ago interestingly enough and WOW.
It was about halfway through this article when I realized what this could mean, and it absolutely brought on the tears. My husband, sitting across the table from me as I write this started laughing and asking if I was ok, because while I didn’t seem upset, there were tears spilling. I told him “Yes, but I can’t talk, just let me write this to process it then I’ll tell you.” …which is what I’m doing now.
I realized that it means that my husband could potentially someday adopt my oldest daughter, without taking away the parental rights/title etc. of her birth father, who we get along well with and is as active as he can be from across the country. It means that what we have already accepted as her having 2 dad and one mom, could be fully legitimized. Geoff could be her legal dad and making it so wouldn’t mean that my ex, her birth father, is losing his role as dad.
I’ve had visions before of what would happen if I died, and what I saw was my husband and my ex, walking away from me both holding my daughters hand. They are obviously not gay since they are/were with me and we made babies but I feel VERY confident that if something horrible happened like that, they would find a way to be there for all my kids. It just feels like that is true in my heart.
Of course with all the divorces and marriages happening all the time I can see how this would be a HUGE advantage for kids with step parents. For gay couples who share parenthood with an outside person, and obviously for open adoptions and other situations like this.
I guess the real question is how the schools would deal with it LMAO!! They have a hard enough time understanding things like both parents having different phone numbers/emails etc. it seems. But well, I suppose if/when this happens they will have to figure something out. I’m very happy that it appears the “Village” that kids need and that some have is getting legitimized!! I’m done crying now too, I’m smiling.