Wrong to Prioritize Mothering my Kids?

It sure feels like as much as I love my kids, I’m really not supposed to be a mom.

What a terrible thing to say right? I agree. I feel my eyes moistening after writing that, but unfortunately it really seems to be true.

Figuring out how to make adequate money while being a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom) building online communities has not worked out.

It feels like it is time for me to look instead into childcare options, and to look for a day job.

It is like either my family needs (food/housing/clothing/gas) are going to be met and I’ll be gone working, or we’ll end up homeless and hungry, but I’ll be with them.

Not that I’m a good stay at home mom anyway, cleaning is definitely not my fortay, looking around the house proves this, papers piled up on the table, clothes piled up in the closet, and plates are stacking up on the table/sink/counters as well.

When I stop watching the kids to clean…bigger messes are made. When I am with the kids and spending time playing/being with them…same thing.

My efforts feel wasted except for the loving relationships we have…but that doesn’t pay rent, or put gas in the car.

Seems like I have to go take a job doing tech support so that I can pay rent and let KinderCare raise my kids.

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6 Responses to Wrong to Prioritize Mothering my Kids?

  1. Lessa says:

    My dream is to make money online, if I was able to do that or be a famous sports person I would take the cash online option every time. Working from my bedroom.

    This is clearly something you want to do so I wondered, how seriously do you take it? I mean are you really able to work for hours at home when you want to and do people respect what you are doing or are they happy to break you off as you are just “on the computer” or “not doing anything”?

  2. L Sawyer says:

    you may enjoy a book called… ‘The Art of Non-Conformity: Set your own rules, live the life you want & change the world” by Chris Guillebeau. He also has a blog I believe. I found it a very interesting different perspective on “work”. I realize we don’t know each other, but I know several women in the same situation. You will find your way.

  3. Kristin says:

    Thank you! I will definitely take a look at that book…I’m pretty good at not conforming but lately it doesn’t seem to be working all that well…I was definitely in a ‘down moment’ when writing this post, fortunately it isn’t always like that. Checking out that book next time I’m at BN though for sure, or maybe the library :-)!

  4. Kristin says:

    When I read this I actually wondered if my husband had created an account pretending to be a woman and wrote it…You are right on point with my “work time” not being honored, which is my fault as I haven’t required enforcement. Even as I write this I’ve got my 6yo messing with water in the bathroom, 3mo crying next to me because I put him down for a brief moment and it just feels like I can’t get anything done. To my credit I have been, while bemoaning things not working, looking at and starting my 2yo in part time preschool…so far she’s in a co-op which doesn’t get me much free time but it definitely gives me about 2hr a week so it’s a start!! I keep finding myself in this deadly cycle of thought “If I could get someone to take care of her a few hours I could make some money.” then… “I need to make some money to find someone to help me out with the kids a few hours a week.” and so on… keeping my head on straight is a challenge recently but I’m taking it on!! Thank you for the reality check Lessa!!

  5. Ugh. I totally hear you on this one. I could (and often do) spend hours and hours and hours a day doing the whole community building thing- for what? I don’t think blogging works the way it used to.

    People don’t follow a comment link to another blog and reciprocate, they don’t engage like they did 2-3 years ago. It makes me sad. I’d love to pay my grocery bill with money I make writing on my little blog, but it seems like to make enough to even cash out a months ad revenue you have to be pimping affiliate links and posting new coupon match-ups every hour or so. That’s not my style. So I trudge along, hoping there are still readers out there who might click over, might like what they see and might leave me a comment or and come back another day.

    I’ll always read and comment when I have something to say. I like the little peeks into the minds of other Moms- especially those willing to share the hard parts.

  6. Jessicka says:

    I totally appreciate this post and absolutely hear you. Conflicting priorities has been the hot topic in my life the last few months. I finally finally finally to take the plunge and get out of the 5-6 and beyond tech life to become a Massage Therapist and shit just went up in flames lol. I was so excited to have the guts to take the dive but then I was left with a massage license, a newborn and no time or money to market myself 🙁 After an internal conflict like no other in my life I decided I had to go back and leave my lil’ munchkin for the days. My first day back was last week and of course on my first day my electricity gets shut off for non-payment ahhhhh – I guesss it was perfect timing with getting this job and hopefully that was the low point.
    I do feel that I learned so much in the last two years that this experience will be less painful then it used to be. I just need to remind myself that the time I spend with Magnus will be quality time rather than dependent on quantity. Nothing is permanent either as I’ve learned over and over – I’ve at least set up the framework for the life i want and have dreamed of and now I just need to regroup financially and move forward. I also need to trust the universe a little more as well – I can’t stress to you how important meditation is in my life – when I really set the time aside to clear my mind the answers seem to come so much easier.

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